Bacon

BACON

Bacon

Bandit
COMBUSTION COMPLETE

Plastered making Pokemon

"If I was a Pokemon, I would be number 11...Because my only attack is Harden"

I remember a time when Pokemon were creatures of grace, virtue and valor. Majestic beasts that civilizations could use as emblems as they marched off into war against their enemies. It was easy to imagine grand palaces adorned with statues of Pokemon, chosen as guardians over scared locations.

But not anymore.

This be'th a Pokemon

The creative faculties of the Pokemon creators has suffered in the last few generations. To me it just seems that they've run out of ideas. The evidence is all around us, take this for example:

This isn't a Pokemon. This is an Ice Cream.

Vanillite is one of the prime examples of Pokemon trying desperately to "look outside the box." It evolves into slightly bigger ice cream and then two scoop ice cream. I wonder where they got that idea. 

"HAKUATA MEI ICUCANU! YUM YUM!" 

Now, I know that the first generation had it's flaws with one Pokemon based one a large black diva, but you know what at least large black divas are animate. They move around kissing their clien.. I mean children and are actually alive. (Although I don't know how the black community feels about there being a black woman Pokemon; ya know since they get chained up in balls and do what their master says.)

Enough about Jinx!

In later versions of the game, creators began to come up with little tricks to make their lives easier. The first begin the simple "Let's just make that a Pokemon" trick.

For Example:

"Hey, Yamhasu, you see them ducks over there?!"
"HAI!"
"They could be a Pokemon!" 

This is a duck. It's name is Ducklett.

"Ahhhhh, Hakatsunanakoumsai, you are genius!"
"Ahaaaaaaaaa!"
"But look over there, now that's a Pokemon!"

This is a deer. It's called Deerling. I wish I was fucking kidding. Point is the list goes on and slowly the laziness becomes more and more apparent. Worst thing is that they didn't just stop with animals. 

Yamhasu: "I have an IDEA for new Pokemon!"

Hakatsunanakoumsai: "Ahaaaaaa!"

Yamhasu: "Do you see that device in the CORNER!"

Hakatsunanakoumsai: "Why yes, Yamhasu san, I see it!"

The rest of the conversation was not important. After getting some additional inspiration from a frying pan and a spinning top, they came up with this:

It's a flying fucking Microwave

So right now I'm starting to realize that this is going to take a few more angry posts to complete. So my loving combustionites, next post I'll tell you what happened when Halatsunanakoumsai touched himself at night.

This shit makes fun of itself.

Bandit

COMBUSTION COMPLETE

Video game Releases: Feb. 13-19

Let's see if anything interesting is coming out this week gamers!

Bandit: This is scary as fuck

Feb. 14

We have Jagged Alliance: Back in Action. Poor thing, has a lot to live up to. The old Jagged Alliance games were pretty awesome. Maybe it should have stayed retired.

Crusader Kings 2, which is about conquering or something.

Blazblue Continuum Shift Extend, the next money eater by Aksys, also known as "we haven't really changed anything, but give us your money anyway".

Tales of the Abyss 3DS, for you 5 people that own that system.

SSX, for all you snowboarders out there. Or those really lazy people, rather.

Another The Sims 3 DLC, pack, thing. . . Good, we needed another one of those.

And finally, something good, Twisted Metal. Now that's one game that is certainly welcome.


Feb. 15

Pretty empty, with the exception being Alan Wake: American Nightmare. I imagine an American nightmare would involve some sort of geography test.


Feb. 16

Also empty, aside for Alan Wake, the PC version.


And that about does it for this week.


Axl4002

COMBUSTION COMPLETE

Pop Fiction

Believe it or not readers, but a while ago, the Internet didn't exist. (Bandit: Gasp!)

Which means that people couldn't share information as easily. People could get away with lies much easier. You could spread myths and rumors, and it could take years before anyone could find out the truth.

What exactly am I talking about ? Videogame myths.

Perhaps years back, you may have heard of this rumor as I have. It was a myth about the classic game, The Legend of Zelda : A Link to the Past. People talked about reading, or even seeing, a secret room in the game.
They called it the "Money room", since it was supposedly filled with blue rupees. Others also called it the "Chris Houlihan" room, once again, supposedly something they read in the room.

As a kid, hearing of such things would push an uninterested "huh . . ." out of me. But now, as an immature adult, I'm beyond interested in such things. I love videogame myths, easter eggs, and all that stuff.

Now, let me tell you about a certain series on the popular website, Gametrailers. If you look past all the blind fanboyism, and the numbers in the reviews, you'll see something they call "Pop-fiction".

They currently have 20 episodes, where they explore certain myths about games, such as the Chris Houlihan room myth.

It is by far, one of the best series I've ever watched on the Internet, and everyone should give it a watch.

(Direct link : http://www.gametrailers.com/game/pop-fiction/13123 )

Axl4002
COMBUSTION COMPLETE

Spent a little Time doing some Design.

Hey so my title totally sort of rhymes kinda. I'm a poet and I didn't know it.

So, as you can see I changed the design up a lot today to try and make it easier for everyone to surf through all the Combustions.

I added a site counter too. 1700 views and counting. FUCK YEH!.

If anyone has any suggestions, join the site and leave a comment.

I'm gonna work on my personal page, so I'm out.


Bandit
COMBUSTION COMPLETE

I Made a Title. Bitches.

If you've ever seen Breaking Bad, you'll understand. Bitch.

I made a new Title. Comment to tell we what you guys think.

Fucking Love it

Bandit
COMBUSTION COMPLETE

DUPLICATES!!!

Something I do very often, is buy a game, only to come home and realize that I already owned that game. "Well gosh darnit", I say to myself as I look through the shelf to place it in my flawless alphabetic order, "I already own this one...".

Yep, that's 2 Dr. Marios

And some of you may be thinking... "Jeez this guy is an idiot... He bought the same game twice...", but the fact is when you start to have about 100 different games you begin to lose track quite easily...

Which brings me to my next rule for collecting game:

Rule number 3: Always have a ready list on. Or just a list of games in general.

It's always good to know how many and exactly which games you have, so that when you're out on a shopping spree and see some good deals, you don't go too crazy and end up buying duplicates. Another good use for a list of games is when someone wants to get you a birthday/Christmas gift. Many times someone will ask you what you want as a gift, just give them your list and have them run around buying you a game. It's an easy cheap gift (depending on the game). So if you're the friend of a collector or are on yourself, force them or yourself to make a list.

Join me next week for more on this very.... enthralling subject.

-Arithmetic logic unit.

COMBUSTION COMPLETE