Monday, 30 January 2012


So, hi.

Not too sure how to introduce myself formally, but I’m a new member to the Combustion Moose team, known as Cuttlefish. Yeah, those things actually exist for those of you currently opening a tab in your browser for the sake of discovering why the hell I chose Cuttlefish as a name. Besides the fact they’re freaking adorable, the name sounds amazing. It’s a cuddly fish. But it’s not a fish, and it’s sure as hell not cuddly.

Regardless, I decided to make my first post about how much I hate women. (I’m about to be drop kicked by a hoard of angry feminists.) Don’t get me wrong, I hate people in general, but I really, really don’t like women. I can say this seeing as I am a woman.

(Yeah, freak the fuck out, girls can do more than make sandwiches. Look, I can type! Goodie-fucking-gumdrops.)

I’ll have you know I can’t make sandwiches, let alone cook. I’ll also have you know that reasons like the above will be how I justify not liking females.

Let’s go back in time a bit shall we?

Once upon a time… Women had no rights. GASP, NO WAY. Yes. They actually had no, if not very limited rights and were generally undermined in every way possible. So they spoke out, they began to protest being discriminated against due to sex, began striving to succeed and work and go to school and be equal with our male counterparts. We wanted to show that we were just as good as you men!

So we were given what we wanted, and what do we do with this?

^ what the fuck.

There are disasters, calamities and injustices happening around the world, problems that simply must be addressed urgently, but no, here’s our young female minds at work, torn between sucking off a sparkling vampire and a wolf.

I’m generalizing here a little bit and for those of you who have their heads in their asses, I’m using Twilight as a prime example of women hindering their own progress on gaining equal rights. Here is a series that sounds like some sex-deprived fourteen year old’s fanflic, and it takes the nation by storm. The main idea of the story? Women, get the fuck back in the kitchen, you’re nothing without men. Bravo ladies, bravo.

There’s more though. Years ago women fought for an education, fought to work at jobs they weren't allowed to be in, wanted to be treated with respect. When we’re given all this, what do we do? Dress up like whores, act like total fucking bimbos for attention, fail at school because we’re too busy getting wasted at your BFFL’s major-ultra-special-party… whatever, the more I list, the more I lose faith.

So you know what? I will throw around sexist jokes, I will even ACCEPT people making remarks like that towards me, just because of how hypocritical it would be to say “STOP BEING SEXIST” when we have conformed into these poor little dependable creatures who would rather flaunt their tits around the world than, ya know, pick up a good book, play a video game, actually, god forbid, get a fucking education. Too much to ask?

Part of me wants to say I’m proud of myself and the other women who strive for success and haven’t yet educed themselves to the walking wastes of oxygen I have to tolerate on a daily basis, but most of me cries for the gender as a whole. So, go on ahead and tell me to get back in the kitchen. Fuck, with the current state we’re in, I don’t think we should be allowed to leave the kitchen until we realize our potential and what we could do with it.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go learn to make sandwiches.

(Bandit's comment: Rule 29 on Cuttlefish)



  1. Blast, rule 29 always gets me.

  2. You know what pisses me off the most on a daily basis? Going to my expensive-ass school and seeing all these bimbo's with fake hair, a fake tan, way too much makeup and fancy as fuck clothes. And then hearing them talk about how wasted they were last night and the guys that are like so totally into them. And then hearing them talk about how they're failing like two classes.

    Honestly?? You're wasting your parents' money for this shit? Why don't you ditch the salon and the makeup, throw on some damn sweatpants and open a fucking book!?

    Ugh I feel so undermined it's not even funny. Women like that give us a bad name.