Wednesday, 18 January 2012

The Spontaneous Dumbledore Field

Have you ever noticed that when streetlamps burn out they always blow as your driving under them.

I'll be driving in my car, minding my own business, when suddenly the strong shining, conveniently directed rays of light that were guiding me are suddenly replaced by a haunting trail of unlit blackness. After the occurrence I normally look I bit like this:

So I thought about it, and the only explanation is a little thing I like to call the Spontaneous Dumbledore Field. My guess is that when something immeasurably rare happens (like the planets aligning or someone visiting combustion moose), a force is created that causes a gateway between reality and imagination to tear asunder between some unlucky driver and a streetlamp.

Now, of course, there are three dominant clans in the land of imagination. Spampires, Wizards and Jedi. Basically their all fighting over their in ability to be the dominant story in the mind of naive, impressionable westerners.

The vampires are sparkling, light sabers are flashing. Shits really going down. But what can the wizards do? They can't hold down a Defense against the dark arts teacher so all their really capable of doing is making candles float and chasing a golden testicle on a broom stick.

The boy who lived. That's who they need. Dumbledore takes out his trusty stealthelightfromthingsthatlightuper and clicks it like it's nobodies business. At that very moment the gateway opens and Dumbledore steals a ray of real light from our world.

Imagine if two people read Combustion Moose.


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