Now, I know what your thinking.
Hey Bandit. Don't you have to have friends to have a girlfriend?
Well reader. Fuck you.
Anyway, I was standing at a Train station the other day with Cuttlefish as my gf (that does exist) and Arithmetic Logic Unit (Cuttlefishes bf) were running around just like...I don't even know what the fuck they were doing. They were laughing and screaming and running around like five year olds.
Cuttlefish and I just stood there looking at each other, asking why we were going out with them (joking of course). We both really knew why.
I don't know what it is but there's something about the fact that my gf being the polar opposite to me that brings some kind of balance to my life. There's something about her childishness and nativity that makes me feel like I need her. Without it, the scales would be unbalanced and the world would be lob-sided.
For her, I have a love that comes naturally. Whether I want it to or not.
Ya know what I mean reader?
Whatever Bandit, I'm convinced you have a girl friend. Stop trying so hard ;)
...What do her tits feel like?
I dunno...like...bags of sand?